Ire
Ire-Proof Your Marriage - You Read That Right, "Ire-Proof"
Ire-Proof Your Marriage - You Read That Right, "Ire-Proof"
Ire-Proof Your Marriage - You Read That Right, "Ire-Proof"
If you want a great formula for communicating the wrong way, it can be summed up as, "Nag-nag-nag, " then follow-through with a little bit of, "Whine-whine-whine, " and top that with a garnish of, "Vent-vent-vent." By following the nag/whine/vent formula, you're sure to wind up single or otherwise unhappy.
If you don't want that sort of life, or find yourself locked in a downward spiral to that effect, then there's hope for you yet. Don't drop the ball, but take the lesson from Toby the Chihuahua, a rescued dog from a home that was unbelievably...well, undeserving of dog ownership of any sort, but that's where we came in.
So, what on Google Earth does Toby have to do with your marriage? Well, nothing and everything, really. See, I found that Toby has a bit of a small dog complex about him. His self-esteem was damaged pretty severely, and I suspect there's more to the story than we were told. He is absolutely terrified of men, which says a lot.
He keeps his tail between his legs, or used to, and didn't allow me in my own house if he could help it. He'd bark and in doggie fashion, would "scream" at me to get out of the house. It all boiled down to his low self-esteem, his fears, his inability to communicate or our inability to properly understand him.
That's the connection, right there.
Because after a few weeks of nurturing him, getting to hear him out, giving him space when he needed it, and really speaking his language, we've been able to pull him out of his shell and help him blossom into a real member of the family.
I'm sure it's the same in your marriage as in mine, just as it was with our little Toby. We all want to be heard. Listen to each other before you speak.
If your wife is "barking" at you, get underneath the bark and make her a priority. Affirm her needs, hear her out, give her what she's been "barking" at you to do. For me, it's been getting the finances stabilized. Check! It's also been getting her out of the workforce so she could be a stay-at-home queen of the roost. Check!
For you, what is it? Maybe it's your husband, what has he been complaining about? Get to the real root problems, too, not just the symptoms. That's a key--not to put a band-aid on a cancer. Get at the cause of the cancer and remove it, whatever the tumor.
In your marriage, what is it that makes you angry? With our Toby, we realized that my booming voice didn't help a bit. It doesn't take much for Toby to cower, so I know I've blown it when his tail sags between his legs. What made me mad? His potty training. Solution? Take him out more frequently.
It's a simplified view of things, sure, but what is it that your wife or husband "shuts down" around? Money? Esteem? Respect? Intimacy? Take the lesson from Toby, and really investigate how you can prevent shutting one another down.
Another tip is to not use sarcasm to communicate. Don't play the passive/aggressive, circumlocution schtick. Rather, shoot straight, and gently. Anger isn't a form of communication, it's a barrier to it. You'd be surprised how a soft, quiet response in the middle of a firefight can really disarm a heated spouse. If your spouse doesn't take the bait, don't worry, change takes time.
Develop an attitude of "I am not going to add fuel to this fIre, " and you're on your way to "ire-proofing" your marriage. Choose instead words that build rather than tear down. Encourage, don't discourage, and when you feel like venting, just take a step back and say, "I need to talk about this later, I'm just getting more angry."
Sounds simple, but it works. It sure beats the alternative: an escalation in the tone.
James Hussey works in a successful family business by day, and moonlights three different ways: he web-publishes on his pet blogs, freelance writes on Elance as "JamestheJust, " and does his own article marketing campaigns. His blogs now include Dog Pet Stores, where you'll find all of your dog's products such as training collars for dogs, or XXS dog clothes, where you can find info and links on dog collars, clothes and other dog items.
Do you believe this church had the right to do what it did?
Kentucky church votes to ban interracial couples
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TOMAHAWK, Ky (Reuters) - A vote to bar interracial couples from a small church in eastern Kentucky has triggered hand-wringing and embarrassment.
Nine members of Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church backed their former pastor, with six opposed, in Sunday's vote to bar interracial couples from church membership and worship activities. Funerals were excluded.
The vote was taken after most of the 40 people who attended Sunday services had left the church in Pike County, near the border with West Virginia. Many members left to avoid the vote.
Most members of the church "didn't want anything to do with this," said longtime church official Dean Harville, whose daughter and her black fiance had drawn pastor Melvin Thompson's ire.
At services earlier this year, Stella Harville, 24, who is working on her master's degree in optical engineering, sang "I Surrender All" with her fiance, Ticha Chikuni, 29, a Zimbabwe native, according to her father. Chikuni, an employee at Georgetown College in Kentucky, played the piano.
"There didn't appear to be any problem," Dean Harville said on Wednesday. "None whatsoever."
But Harville said Thompson told him the couple would not be allowed to sing at the church again. Thompson resigned in August but would not drop the issue.
Thompson told a local radio outlet, "I do not believe in interracial marriages, and I do not believe this (ban) will give our church a black eye at all."
He could not be reached for comment.
The move has drawn scrutiny from the hierarchy of the Freewill Baptist Church, Harville said.
"This kind of thing brands all of us so easily," said Randy Johnson, president of the Pike County Ministerial Association. "That's not who we are. From all the churches I've talked to so far, it's really not anger so much as it is shock."
Also, if you agree with their position, where in the Bible does it say to ban interracial couples?
Get the answers...
Small church bans interracial marriage couples from attending .. your views ...?
(Reuters) - A vote to bar interracial couples from a small church in eastern Kentucky has triggered hand-wringing and embarrassment.
Nine members of Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church backed their former pastor, with six opposed, in Sunday's vote to bar interracial couples from church membership and worship activities. Funerals were excluded.
The vote was taken after most of the 40 people who attended Sunday services had left the church in Pike County, near the border with West Virginia. Many members left to avoid the vote.
Most members of the church "didn't want anything to do with this," said longtime church official Dean Harville, whose daughter and her black fiance had drawn pastor Melvin Thompson's ire.
At services earlier this year, Stella Harville, 24, who is working on her master's degree in optical engineering, sang "I Surrender All" with her fiance, Ticha Chikuni, 29, a Zimbabwe native, according to her father. Chikuni, an employee at Georgetown College in Kentucky, played the piano.
"There didn't appear to be any problem," Dean Harville said on Wednesday. "None whatsoever."
But Harville said Thompson told him the couple would not be allowed to sing at the church again. Thompson resigned in August but would not drop the issue.
Thompson told a local radio outlet, "I do not believe in interracial marriages, and I do not believe this (ban) will give our church a black eye at all."
He could not be reached for comment.
The move has drawn scrutiny from the hierarchy of the Freewill Baptist Church, Harville said.
"This kind of thing brands all of us so easily," said Randy Johnson, president of the Pike County Ministerial Association. "That's not who we are. From all the churches I've talked to so far, it's really not anger so much as it is shock."
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/01/us-usa-church-race-idUSTRE7B003S20111201
I realise that it is a small number of people who are doing this ...but what are your views on this please ...
Get the answers...
JAVA - Finding the shortest three-letter-word sequence between these words...?
A three-letter-word sequence is a sequence (any sequence) of three-letter words so that any two adjacent words differ by exactly one letter. For example, BED, TED, TEN, MEN, HEN, HUN. Before you ask, here is a list I am given of allowable three-letter-words titled A3word.input:
AAH AAL AAS ABA ABO ABS ABY ACE ACT ADD ADO ADS ADZ AFF AFT AGA AGE AGO AHA AID
AIL AIM AIN AIR AIS AIT ALA ALB ALE ALL ALP ALS ALT AMA AMI AMP AMU ANA AND ANE
ANI ANT ANY APE APT ARB ARC ARE ARF ARK ARM ARS ART ASH ASK ASP *** ATE ATT AUK
AVA AVE AVO AWA AWE AWL AWN AXE AYE AYS AZO
BAA BAD BAG BAH BAL BAM BAN BAP BAR BAS BAT BAY BED BEE BEG BEL BEN BET BEY BIB
BID BIG BIN BIO BIS BIT BIZ BOA BOB BOD BOG BOO BOP BOS BOT BOW BOX BOY BRA BRO
BRR BUB BUD BUG BUM BUN BUR BUS BUT BUY BYE BYS
CAB CAD CAM CAN CAP CAR CAT CAW CAY CEE CEL CEP CHI CIS COB COD COG COL CON COO
COP COR COS COT COW COX COY COZ CRY CUB CUD CUE *** CUP CUR CUT CWM
DAB DAD DAG DAH DAK DAL DAM DAP DAW DAY DEB DEE DEL DEN DEV DEW DEX DEY DIB DID
DIE DIG DIM DIN DIP DIS DIT DOC DOE DOG DOL DOM DON DOR DOS DOT DOW DRY DUB DUD
DUE DUG DUI DUN DUO DUP DYE
EAR EAT EAU EBB ECU EDH EEL EFF EFS EFT EGG EGO EKE ELD ELF ELK ELL ELM ELS EME
EMF EMS EMU END ENG ENS EON ERA ERE ERG ERN ERR ERS ESS ETA ETH EVE EWE EYE
FAD *** FAN FAR FAS FAT FAX FAY FED FEE FEH FEM FEN FER FET FEU FEW FEY FEZ FIB
FID FIE FIG FIL FIN FIR FIT FIX FIZ FLU FLY FOB FOE FOG FOH FON FOP FOR FOU FOX
FOY FRO FRY FUB FUD FUG FUN FUR
GAB GAD GAE GAG GAL GAM GAN GAP GAR GAS GAT GAY GED GEE GEL GEM GEN GET GEY GHI
GIB GID GIE GIG GIN GIP GIT GNU GOA GOB GOD GOO GOR GOT GOX GOY GUL GUM GUN GUT
GUV GUY GYM GYP
HAD HAE HAG HAH HAJ HAM HAO HAP HAS HAT HAW HAY HEH HEM HEN HEP HER HES HET HEW
HEX HEY HIC HID HIE HIM HIN HIP HIS HIT HMM HOB HOD HOE HOG HON HOP HOT HOW HOY
HUB HUE HUG HUH HUM HUN HUP HUT HYP
ICE ICH ICK ICY IDS IFF IFS ILK ILL IMP INK INN INS ION IRE IRK ISM ITS IVY
JAB JAG JAM JAR JAW JAY JEE JET JEU JEW JIB JIG JIN JOB JOE JOG JOT JOW JOY JUG
JUN JUS JUT
KAB KAE KAF KAS KAT KAY KEA KEF KEG KEN KEP KEX KEY KHI KID KIF KIN KIP KIR KIT
KOA KOB KOI KOP KOR KOS KUE
LAB LAC LAD LAG LAM LAP LAR LAS LAT LAV LAW LAX LAY LEA LED LEE LEG LEI LEK LET
LEU LEV LEX LEY LEZ LIB LID LIE LIN LIP LIS LIT LOB LOG LOO LOP LOT LOW LOX LUG
LUM LUV LUX LYE
MAC MAD MAE MAG MAN MAP MAR MAS MAT MAW MAX MAY MED MEL MEM MEN MET MEW MHO MIB
MID MIG MIL MIM MIR MIS MIX MOA MOB MOC MOD MOG MOL MOM MON MOO MOP MOR MOS MOT
MOW MUD MUG MUM MUN MUS MUT
NAB NAE NAG NAH NAM NAN NAP NAW NAY NEB NEE NET NEW NIB NIL NIM NIP NIT NIX NOB
NOD NOG NOH NOM NOO NOR NOS NOT NOW NTH NUB NUN NUS NUT
OAF OAK OAR OAT OBE OBI OCA ODD ODE ODS OES OFF OFT OHM OHO OHS OIL OKA OKE OLD
OLE OMS ONE ONS OOH OOT OPE OPS OPT ORA ORB ORC ORE ORS ORT OSE OUD OUR OUT OVA
OWE OWL OWN OXO OXY
PAC PAD PAH PAL PAM PAN PAP PAR PAS PAT PAW PAX PAY PEA PEC PED PEE PEG PEH PEN
PEP PER PES PET PEW PHI PHT PIA PIC PIE PIG PIN PIP PIS PIT PIU PIX PLY POD POH
POI POL POM POP POT POW POX PRO PRY PSI PUB PUD PUG PUL PUN PUP PUR PUS PUT PYA
PYE PYX
QAT QUA
RAD RAG RAH RAJ RAM RAN RAP RAS RAT RAW RAX RAY REB REC RED REE REF REG REI REM
REP RES RET REV REX RHO RIA RIB RID RIF RIG RIM RIN RIP ROB ROC ROD ROE ROM ROT
ROW RUB RUE RUG RUM RUN RUT RYA RYE
SAB SAC SAD SAE SAG SAL SAP SAT SAU SAW SAX SAY SEA SEC SEE SEG SEI SEL SEN SER
SET SEW SEX SHA SHE SHH SHY SIB SIC SIM SIN SIP SIR SIS SIT SIX SKA SKI SKY SLY
SOB SOD SOL SON SOP SOS SOT SOU SOW SOX SOY SPA SPY SRI STY SUB SUE SUM SUN SUP
SUQ SYN
TAB TAD TAE TAG TAJ TAM TAN TAO TAP TAR TAS TAT TAU TAV TAW TAX TEA TED TEE TEG
TEL TEN TET TEW THE THO THY TIC TIE TIL TIN TIP TIS TIT TOD TOE TOG TOM TON TOO
TOP TOR TOT TOW TOY TRY TSK TUB TUG TUI TUN TUP TUT TUX TWA TWO TYE
UDO UGH UKE ULU UMM UMP UNS UPO UPS URB URD URN USE UTA UTS
VAC VAN VAR VAS VAT VAU VAV VAW VEE VEG VET VEX VIA VIE VIG VIM VIS VOE VOW VOX
VUG
WAB WAD WAE WAG WAN WAP WAR WAS WAT WAW WAX WAY WEB WED WEE WEN WET WHA WHO WHY
WIG WIN WIS WIT WIZ WOE WOG WOK WON WOO WOP WOS WOT WOW WRY WUD WYE WYN
XIS
YAH YAK YAM YAP YAR YAW YAY YEA YEH YEN YEP YES YET YEW YID YIN YIP YOB YOD YOK
YOM YON YOU YOW YUK YUM YUP
ZAG ZAP ZAX ZED ZEE ZEK ZIG ZIN ZIP ZIT ZOA ZOO
We need to find the shortest three-letter-word sequence (example, in the example above it took 5 moves to get from BED to HUN). Find the shortest three-letter-word sequnece that connects the words (if they exist):
1. IVY to LAB
2. OAK to ICE
3. ICY to LIE
(backwards order is okay).
We need to do this with JAVA. If anyone has an idea on how to start programming this is would be appreciated. Thank you! :)
Get the answers...
Ghost Recon Future Soldier - Single Player Reveal Trailer [IRE]
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